Monday, September 13, 2010

It's been a while.

It's been a while since have posted so I thought I'd get to work. A lot has been going on with my family over the past few weeks and it's been hard to keep up. I have slipped on my diet over the past week and that makes me so upset at myself. I have lost 20 pounds so far and that is good. It's getting to where my pants don't fit right and that's a good feeling as well as a frustrated feeling. I don't have the money to go shopping for cloths when I don't know if they are going to fit in a couple of weeks. So I'll just have to keep hiking up those pants. My husband was amused when I showed him I could walk out of my jeans without unbuttoning or zipping them. But the unfortunate thing about that is when I'm trying to clean or pick up Xan in a store I have to be constantly aware of where my jeans are hitting me. My land lord, Mr. Creed came by to fix the dryer and i was bent over helping him and Xan walks up behind me and announces to the whole house "Mommy your butt is pink." lol It's a good thing Mr. Creed has a good since of humor because I had to explain to Xan that it wasn't my butt it was my underwear. Also Mr. Creed is working with a lady who is on the same diet so he understands what I'm doing. So his response to the situation was "that's a good thing".
So that is where the diet is and I'm posting a picture that my husband took and it shows my face and that's where you can tell the biggest difference. I'm trying to take each day as it comes and not to worry too much about it. I've been in a little bit of funk. I've been depressed and my moods have been up and down. I don't like the way that I've been feeling. It's more than likely the hormone shots so I'm trying to not let it get to me.

Every day is a new adventure. Meet it head on and with a positive attitude to see where it takes you.

Monday, August 30, 2010

I've back tracked!

It's been a week since my last blog and as many of you could guess I have let things slide. In my defence my family has been going through some tough times and it's been very stressful. I'm lucky if I remember to eat here lately much less count calories. I've tried to manage by eating things that I have in the past on this diet. I've been so busy it's unbelievable.
I did start a new job. :) I don't know how it's gonna work out but I'm optimistic about it. I'm going to try my best to make it work. The basics of the job is this...well, it's kinda hard to explain. The company I work for is a pharmaceutical company that specializes in all natural products for the home. Such as laundry detergent, shampoo, and vitamins. It's a good product that has won environmental awards and the company is Better Business Bureau certified. Not bad! My job is letting people know it's there! So go to my web site and check it out. If you are interested and want more information let me know and I'll set up a on-line information session for you. There is so much to explain it's better left to the company it's just my job to get you there.
Enough of business...With all the complications that life has thrown at me somehow I'm still going. There have been times this week when I knew a "break down" was just one heart beat away. My sister and I had a long conversation this week on the phone about all of life's drama and troubles. She said something that most of you have already heard and it's something I know I've said to others. And that is "God will never put anything on you he knows you can't handle." The more I think about it I kinda disagree. Isn't it God's job to challenge us to show us how strong we can be? To perhaps bring us back to him by a situation we can't handle? I don't know it just makes me think. I'm not wavering on my faith, I know that the problems we are faced with now we will be able to overcome them. We have wonderful family and friends that will support us. We have a good church that the boys will find good friends at and that's as much of a blessing as we can ask for now.

My son has a Veggie Tales Bible and we found this verse. Keep in mind it is translated for a child but the meaning remains the same.
Romans 5:3-6
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Monday, August 23, 2010

One Month Mark! I made it :)

I had such a whirlwind day it isn't even funny. I'm just going to hit on a few points of interest. First off my one month evaluation was today and it went well other than me having a breakdown in the doctors office with the doctor there. But that's a whole other bag of worms. The good news is I have lost a total of 13 lbs. in one month!! YEA ME. Happy dance Happy dance. whooooo. Oh, yeah I'm writing a blog. Anyways the doctor also informed me that my bmi has dropped below the morbidly obese category. Yes, I said morbidly obese. This was news to me, I mean I know I'm fat and I considered myself obese but morbidly? Maybe I was in denial. Or maybe this is one of those situations where they are taking a number and saying yep that's just too fat. Another number to consider is that most modeling agencies consider a size 12 and up plus size modeling. Ok I was skinny at a size 12 and I looked good. Now at a much bigger size that will not be disclosed ...ever... I'm plus size. News flash for Modeling agencies until you hit sizes 16, 18 or more like 18w your not plus sized. This is why our girls are starving themselves sick. If I over hear another 10 to 13 year old complain that they are obese just because their belly is barely bulging when the breath I'm gonna scream. Ok, don't know where that tirade came from but it's over now let's move forward.
On a more personal note I took my kids to their open house tonight at school. It was fun and informative. My oldest noticed that a kid that has always bullied him is in his class this year and is not looking forward to it. My youngest is excited about starting school and I'm worried about him starting.
Also I am going to be starting a new job tomorrow. I filled out my paperwork tonight and will get the final training in the morning. I promise I will fill you in with more information as soon as I can and as often as I can. You will probably get sick of hearing about this job. But it's a job.
For now the house is quiet, the boys are in bed, John is in the living room watching TV, and I'm in the bed room typing this. I love this time of night when everything just stops. This has been a crazy day filled with doctors appointments, meeting up with my mom and sister, seeing a old friend, and having my first conference call and online team meeting. Now the house is quiet and the day has stopped and so have I.

Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.
I would not have made it through the day with out a guardian angel. Our family has been faced with many obstacles over the past couple of weeks with no sign of things getting better.Having peace at night is a God send.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Almost One Month

It has almost been one whole month on the new diet. I am kind of nervous to go to the monthly review appointment at the clinic. Here recently I have had a hard time finding things to eat. I'm so tired of eating the same things. I'm gonna have to scour the Internet for new recipes. Also, the last couple of days I have been lax on my exercise routines. Actually not just lax they have been non-existent.
One of the main keys of being able to stay on a diet in my opinion is support. This is the first time I have had complete support from my family and friends. I get a call everyday from someone encouraging me and asking me how it's going. That has been wonderful. It allows me to vent about the diet or stress, or it gives me the opportunity to just have fun and laugh. I think I've underestimated how much stress can impact what I do. The past couple of days have been really stressful. Between trying to get my car fixed to doctors appointments for the boys and getting them ready for school it has been hectic around here. So, by the end of the day all I want to do is go into a couch potato coma. For the last couple of days that's what I have been doing.
So, the plan is for me to get back into the swing of exercising everyday for some amount of time even if it's just 15 minuets of Wii Fit. Also staying positive about working out and the diet, I haven't been negative per-say but I feel myself slipping and just letting things go. I particularly have a hard time when my kids are begging for ice cream or cookies. I'm also having a hard time with the water thing. I hate water. Getting eight 8oz. glasses of water is what is recommended for everyone to consume in one day, but I was never able to do that. I often think of Thumper from Bambi who ate the blossoms from clovers but not the greens. Well I like the sweet things too.

Reminder to self: Water is good for you and your diet. (even if you don't like it)

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Catch up

I know it's been a while since I last wrote. I have had a busy time. So first off the yard sale went so well. I had a fun time with my sister and family. It was such hard work I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon.
I also have been filling out job applications and on the hunt for a new job. I also took the boys to the pool this week and as always that was fun. I love being able to play with them. This summer has been the greatest thing ever!
Also it's time to confess that I've started a new workout. It may sound a little cheesy but it's new and fun. I was getting tired of the wii and I know that regular workout routines are something that I just can't get into. So and this is embarrassing to say, but I promised at the beginning of this that I would tell all step-by-step how I was loosing weight. I started doing Carmen Electra's Stripper Aerobics. There I said it. Just let me say this, they are not as trashy as what you might think. There has not been ANY stripping on camera that I've seen. I'm working of the first disk in the four pack so I don't know what the others have in store. The best thing I can think of to compare it to is the Pussycat Doll Club dances. Kinda burlesque. With my dance/cheerleading background this is right up my ally, and my husband doesn't mind me taking up the TV for an hour for this. He loves it. But I do suggest that if you have kids that this is not something to do with them awake not because your "stripping", just because no kid wants to see their mom dancing and doing isolations. It is a sexy dance and while I am overweight this has been a big issue for me. When I did dance all the time I would have been able to breeze through this with no problem, and do all the little poses and strut my stuff. But now....I just feel silly, I can't get through a set without laughing at myself and making fun. So, maybe this will help me get a little bit of my sexy back. Ha LOL. For anyone who has been overweight you know it affects your confidence and your self image. This may be the best way to regain some of that confidence.
Also I went to the doctor today with one of the worst migraine I've ever had. I was physically sick. I still don't feel well, but I was determined to post today. Anyway the doctor said that since I have a history of migraines that sometimes the medicine that I'm taking for the weight loss program causes them to increase in frequency. I'm hoping this is just a fluke and not related because it has been working so well for me. He wants me to report to the clinic if I have another migraine soon. Other than that he gave me a shot, the "cocktail", and sent me home.
Now that I completed my blog for the day I'm going to go rest some more and take it easy, and pray that this is not related.


Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 10: But I don't wanna!

I woke up this morning in a good mood, but as the day progressed my cheerful disposition vanished. I wish that I could have pinned down where my day went wrong so that I could have tried to turn it around. I guess it was just about time for me to have a bad day.

I struggled to plan my diet for today. Part of it was the mood I was in and part of it I think is that I'm running out of new things to eat. I really wanted to just have some left over pizza and a coke, but I didn't. I ended up taking another one of those nasty protein shots for breakfast, KFC individual popcorn chicken for lunch, and pork chop medallions for dinner. Don't get me wrong the food is good. It's just that I'm craving some junk food today. I'm proud of myself for not giving in to temptation but am going to bed tonight unsatisfied.

I did workout today also even though I didn't want to. I probably will not be able to tomorrow because we will be busy with the yard sale stuff to get that ready. So I'm putting in advance notice that I will not be posting tomorrow or maybe Saturday, we'll see.

But for now that's all. I'm kinda cranky. Being deprived of my favorite food is not good.

Day 10: As my mom would say "Your big enough were you wants won't hurt you." Well mom I'm still whining about my wants, and yes they do Hurt. lol

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 9: I know I forgot!

I forgot to write yesterday. Not a lot happened though. I took the boys to the movies, we watched Planet 51. I love this free movie summer series. Evyn ran into one of his little friends there and it was cool to watch them interact with each other. They shared a blanket and would laugh and talk through the movie. As a parent you always worry about them making friends and I think E has made a good friend. He invited him to his party and I hope his mom brings him so E will have at least one friend from school there.
On the diet side of things, well things are still going good with the eating. I haven't cheated....yet... I miss my soda some but I'm proud I've made it this long. My weight is hovering at 251lbs. I'm hoping that I'm not already hitting a plateau. I worked out last night and I didn't want to. Today the boys and I are going swimming.
Ok my kids are demanding that I feed them breakfast, what's up with wanting food. lol. If John and I can keep enough food in this house to feed these boys it will be a miracle.

Day 9: Keep It Up!!! Don't back down.
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